19.7.09

once it was in my hands, it lost so much of its grandeur

i believe there are two types of people in this world, those who are unhappy and those who know that they control their happiness and are, therefore, happy.
i had this discussion this summer with one of the truck drivers somewhere between tenn. and colo. theres something about the open road and the dynamic that two guys in a small cab create, that facilitates meaningful dialog very well. this whole idea of happiness came from a discussion on our futures. for a while now people have been telling me that i need to pick a career that will allow me to do what makes me happy, everyday. thats always seemed like a sound argument.
heres where i see the problem, do things make me happy or do i make me happy?
before i get too far in to this i should give a definition of what i am calling happiness. to me its enjoying life, having a smile on you face. what i am not talking about is joy, which i believe can only be found in Jesus Christ.
so.
when i was a kid pogs were cool. my entire class would play before, after, and sometimes during school. the pog companies were constantly putting out new slammers and there was one i wanted bad. i saved up some money and bought it at the Comic, Cards, and More store on my way home from school. i hadnt bought many things with my own money up too that point so it was a big deal to me. one thing i discovered was that once it was in my hands, it lost so much of its grandeur. so i found a new slammer to fantasize about.
this pattern continued through elementary school with nano pets and yo yos, then in high school with guitars. i see the same with friends and their jobs.
this is why i think i am the one who makes me happy.
the same goes for sadness. i think you can follow my logic there.
there are people in my life who are not happy. i want to scream into their pitiful eardrums, "suck it up!"
im working to be happy now. today. because i have no excuse not to be. and neither do you. because 90% of the time unhappiness is weakness. God has given us great things to rejoice in. a joy that should be expressed.

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