16.10.09

chapter 2

    i walked to the end of the sidewalk, off the curb, and out onto the street; thus leaving the monotony  of my childhood's culture in search of something new.  those first steps across the canvas of fresh powder, sparked a life into my bones that i will not soon forget. a brilliant concoction of innocence and adrenaline had been served to my glass. bottoms up.
                    ==========
    the growth began stirring in the deeps of my chest about a year ago, pounding from my sternum a primitive rhythm. so pure and true for reasons i still cannot explain.  a quite unsettling notion.
    then benign took the offensive to invade my veins that morning as i walked confident strokes down that white street; uniting the foreign to the beating in my own chest.  to unmask this mysterious, infectious, growth would render my adventure a success.
    but if i had found that the growth were nothing more than my father's world in disguise, that all i knew, forever was, all this existence could offer my longing soul, would i have survived that winter?
    the station stood smirking before me.
    "well, well, the boy did show". he remarked with a chuckle.
    we had met many times before. a stalwart portal sewn with stone and mortar and laced with discarded ignorance. i grew infatuated with its energy. i often sat on the platform to breathe deeply the joy of the homesick reuniting with the the homes they left incomplete and to covet the look of uninhibited wonder and anticipation on the faces of my fellow adventurers as the unfamiliar desert wind draws the moisture from their pores.
    i removed my hat and reached for my ticket.

3.10.09

it probably says something about where my subconscious is

i wrote this as the beginning of a short story, but cant seem to continue it. it probably says something about where my subconscious is though.


i have a friend.
thats right, a friend.
and i wouldnt have it another way.
    despite the roaring anxiety pulsating through the very cells that created its lukewarm electricity, the morning was truly serene. silenced by a foot of fresh snow and my fear that seemed to have infected the thin air that surrounded me, the desert patiently awaited the dawn. i stood on the sidewalk with my head tilted back in surrender to the spectacle as snowflakes broke through the blackest sky and appeared inches from my nose.
    then the snowflakes became falling train tickets.
    "damn, i forgot the ticket!", i thought to myself.
    i gave myself a frantic pat down and quickly felt the thick paper ticket in the breast pocket of my coat. this led to a mental inventory of everything i had in my pack, as if i had not been through this with my self everyday for the last year.