from his low-tech command center

pawpaw cried tonight.
we were in the cook shed (the back porch of my grandpas house that has evolved over the years into a second kitchen/ living room/ diner/ meeting place/..., of which my pawpaw is very proud of) sitting around talking about the origins of the mob we call our family, back when my parents, aunts, and uncles were spitting out us grandchildren. pawpaw, perched in his iconic directors chair, smoked his cigarette and listened to us cackle over the same priceless family stories we love to tell every year around this time. when the phone rang he answered it from his low-tech command center, a homemade chopping block sitting beside his chair complete with a cup of pencils, a notepad, ash tray, phone book, and of course a phone.
we continued our stroll down memory lane while pawpaw got news that his cousin may be on the losing end of an infection that entered his blood stream. we knew something was up, so when he hung up the phone we all looked at him, awaiting the news. he made it through about ten words and he just stopped.
ive never seen him cry before tonight. never really seen him show any emotion outside of happiness (if the cowboys win) or frustration (if mawmaw uses all the hot water in her bath).
the tension created by those opposing forces, Joy and Sorrow, in that moment brought my mom to tears and the rest of the room to silence.

may the revelation of my genesis be the fulfillment of my joy.


-chapter 3-

She woke early that morning. much earlier than usual.
as her eyelids opened, thoughts of her friend immediately found her. apart from the untimely hour, this was commonplace, she thought of him often.
she rolled over to see snowflakes floating past her window. she then pulled her bedding up, leaving nothing exposed but her wandering mind.
carter was prone to the unexpected and anne had begun to expect such behavior from him. fortunately, by this point in their story, she could forecast, weeks in advance, the next front to blow in. she had spent the last few weeks preparing her self for this one.
she thought about the comfort that their friendship provided her and how she would miss it dearly if he were to go away.  she thought about that same comfort and his avoidance of it, fearing that that warmth would be enough to keep him sheltered from the fronts that periodically blew in to sweep him away.
they loved to study one another. to look into the deepest motives of each others being and then compare them to their own, anxious that they would not align. but they always did.  still she knew his ways were not hers. but it was those traits anne most adored.
"hope to see you soon, friend", she whispered aloud towards the icy window, smiled, and closed her eyes.

-chapter 3-


ive been reading my friends blog lately

ive been reading my friends blog lately. http://brett-land.blogspot.com/ feel free to check it out, and ladies hes single by the way.
ever since ive known him hes been struggling with what it is that God wants him to become. we have that in common.
in our america, laboring through the torrent of careers and dreams, each with their seemingly life or death stakes, is the trademark of this season of life.  but i dont believe that should be the fate of a 20-something that is impersonating Christ.
heres one thing i know. in a sea of measurless options and possibilities, successes and failures, i am meant to create. its not much of a direction in life but its a start i suppose. thats what God has given me and apparently thats all i need right now.
i love to look back on some of my older posts and think about that time, those thoughts. and so i want to record some of my projects as well.

this is a djembe stand i just finished for a friend of mine.  it was a lot of fun. its a new trend so it was definitely a new project for me, lots of brainstorming and development. merry christmas.



Suppose I abandoned the icy chains that shackle my warm veins to this boulder, known as Rationallity, and became that man I rightfully deserve, and truly desire, to become?
Perhaps great risk would be perpetually rewarded with good fortune. Maybe overgrown paths would again be walked, with gifts of affirmation found along the way.
But if I discover that what I rightfully deserved is a far cry from the man I want to be and the woman I want to love, oh God give me mercy.

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