pawpaw cried tonight.
we were in the cook shed (the back porch of my grandpas house that has evolved over the years into a second kitchen/ living room/ diner/ meeting place/..., of which my pawpaw is very proud of) sitting around talking about the origins of the mob we call our family, back when my parents, aunts, and uncles were spitting out us grandchildren. pawpaw, perched in his iconic directors chair, smoked his cigarette and listened to us cackle over the same priceless family stories we love to tell every year around this time. when the phone rang he answered it from his low-tech command center, a homemade chopping block sitting beside his chair complete with a cup of pencils, a notepad, ash tray, phone book, and of course a phone.
we continued our stroll down memory lane while pawpaw got news that his cousin may be on the losing end of an infection that entered his blood stream. we knew something was up, so when he hung up the phone we all looked at him, awaiting the news. he made it through about ten words and he just stopped.
ive never seen him cry before tonight. never really seen him show any emotion outside of happiness (if the cowboys win) or frustration (if mawmaw uses all the hot water in her bath).
the tension created by those opposing forces, Joy and Sorrow, in that moment brought my mom to tears and the rest of the room to silence.
may the revelation of my genesis be the fulfillment of my joy.