18.2.10

namely, john wayne

somewhere between lather, rinse, and repeat; i had a revelation (sorry) a realization. i will now relay to you the truth i found in the shower tonight.
pride in one's self is a sin.
now, i know youre thinking, "thats so basic, how could this guy not know that? he seemed smart...".
haha.
but theres a difference between a realization and a revelation. a revelation is the discovering something previously unknown, while a realization is to understand clearly. i now understand clearly that ALL pride in one's self is sin. i think that i have been subconsciously suppressing this truth all my life.
if you were to ask me if pride was a sin, i would have surely answered yes with a prideful smirk that says, "well its about time someone recognized my spiritual savvy. are there any other mysteries of the Word i can assistance you with?".
i think a part of me has always thought that having pride in one's self radiates the pivotal vibes that prove one's masculinity. thats the same part of me that wishes i lived back in the days of the real cowboys. you know; herding cattle across the deserts of new mexico into the rocky mountains, sleeping under the stars, drinking from a canteen, all that. and like every other male on the planet (every male that doesnt wear eyeliner and/or watch the view, that is), i too have idolized the illusive "self-made man". namely, john wayne.
but no matter how self-sufficient a man is, or how quick his guns are, he is nothing without Christ.
still every time these words come on the radio, "shoulda been a cowboy. shoulda learned to rope and ride...", this particular part of me envisions myself as one of the cartwright boys, riding full speed across the desert chasing after the rightful owner to the bag of gold that hoss accidentally found in a ghost town we passed through, while searching for water for the wounded native american we rescued named Runs For Fun, on our way to save the blind girl that joe is in love with from her crazy father. we cartwrights are nothing short of amazing. (if you have never seen bonanza or listened to country music, this whole paragraph will make zero sense to you).
basically, i should boast in the Lord and in Him alone. and ill take pride in myself only because Christ lives in me. one could argue that what im getting at is simply semantics, but truth is found in those small details at times. it was for me tonight.

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