the crowd will wave their lighters in approval.

where are you not?
i saw your smile tonight at the concert. i found it parading through the crowd on a young boy's face as he danced to the rhythm of his innocence and john mark mcmillian's carolina rock. it made me smile too.
you were at dinner too. your laughter found me, a few tables away, in the company of too few friends.
years ago i thought i was a paul. that there was no you for me. and that i would be ok with that. that my kingdom didnt need a queen. maybe that was just my ego hoping my life and calling could be more specialer than everyone else's (this is quite typical). but no. i am absolutely not a paul. i am man who waits, in expectancy, the day your path stumbles upon mine.
after two verses of ballading anticipation, OUR chorus will crescendo into chilling harmony and the crowd will wave their lighters in approval.
im thinking of you tonight.

if you like singer/songwriters of the hooky and cute variety, check out jillian edwards.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


Trailer Life: The Renovation

In the spring of 2009 I bought, gutted, remodeled, and lived in a this travel trailer for 3 months. Bought it for $200 from a guy in north east Texas and hauled it home to my parents house in Anderson, Texas to start the process. I sold the trailer later that year for a small profit, but regardless, the experience was worth the time and money. 
This will likely be story I'll tell for the rest of my life, but a picture is worth a thousand words, so here are a few.

The day I bought it.

Tearing out the front of the trailer. There was a table and two benches that turned into a bed. I just wanted a real bed. 

Had to replace and strengthen some of the floor joists. 

I did all the walls in bleached western cedar. the bed lifts up to store things beneath. 

A couch that I built with storage underneath where I stored all my clothes. 

Looking from the outside through the window. Wishing now that I would have taken more pictures.

Special thanks to Kyle Childress for help with cabinets and various consults, and Hannah Childress for help with painting.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


Seven Hours Souther

i spent this last week exactly where i was meant to be.
God and I decided that place was on the texas/mexico border, building a house.
a few members of our church took the seven hour road trip down south to edinburg, tx. its still amazes me that i can start driving in south texas (houston) and drive seven hours souther (yeah thats a word now)(why? cause i like it) and never leave the state. though we were very close. my phone even switched to an international cell tower at one point.
the valley is great. (for you non-texans, thats what we call the border area and what i now call “souther” texas. cause i like it)
why the valley is great: reason number one is stripes. the stripes gas stations in the valley will change your life. after experiencing them you will henceforth harbor hostility towards all other stations. authentic mexican food made to order, fresh tortillas, fresh local fruit bar, rows of mexican and american coffees, all at convenient store prices. reason number two is the weather. produce comes out of the valley, by the truck loads, year-round. oranges, watermelons, you name it. reason number three is culture. it kinda feels like mexico in the valley. im addicted to travel and experiences in foreign areas and being down there gives you a bit of that thrill. i like going into a store that doesnt have an english word in it, spoken or written, and getting to use my weak language skills. and attending a spanish church service that assures you God is working all over the world, in every language and in all cultures.
but this trip was great for me personally as well. this week i saw clearly why God has made my path to twist and wind the way it has, why ive been learning to be a builder on job sites and not learning to be a professional money maker in a classroom these past few semesters.
my dad said in one of his sermons a while back that we should be looking for the ways God can use the most of us. i think thats truth. and i think that God used a lot of me this week. a whole lot.
ive felt the same about student life since the first summer i worked. i told my sister on the phone that summer that it seemed as though all my lifes experiences had led up to my work there.
so ill continue to seek those places where God can utilize the most of me. cause God and i like those places. 

here are the AFTER pics of the house we built. for the BEFORE, imagine nothing.


on the examination table.

my friend maggie the business woman introduced me to john mark mcmillians blog. you probably know him for the song, "how he loves", which also inspired a previous blog of mine. i really like his last post. it something i think ive often been guilty of in my journey.
lately, ive been thinking a lot about cynicism and putting the Church on the examination table. i just started listening to derek webbs stockholm syndrome and ill confess, it hasnt helped. im a huge fan of his work, but this last album's "means" to its "end", left me with a bad taste in my mouth. (and this is not about him saying shit and damn)
he has, without a doubt, created one of the most important albums of this era of christian music and i dont want to downplay that. i commend him for his courage. im not done forming my opinion on the album, im about to watch "paradise is a parking lot"(the making of video) to get more of his thoughts on the album.
there is just such a fine line to walk when you point a finger at the Church. at times it desperately needs to be done, like Jesus with the pharisees, martin luther during the reformation, but you must have your motives in check.
i know i can look back to sunday school classes and community groups where i spoke controversially for all the selfish reasons mccmillian points out in his post. i just wanted attention, affirmation. i think most of what i said in those discussions was probably true, but my motives cheapened my words to shear shock value.

i am tried of pointing fingers. 
but im tired of being disappointed.

im going to see the robbie seay band and john mark mcmillian in bryan this month. im pumped. 
also i moved in to my refurbished camper yesterday. pics coming soon.